In some countries celebrities earn higher salaries than senior politicians. What are the reason? Is it a negative or positive developments.

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Famous musicians and film personalities earn a lot of money than
people
Use synonyms
in other professions. It is often said that the field of entertainment makes money more than a government leader.
This
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essay will discuss several reasons for
such
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a situation and I believe that it has affirmative outcomes. Out of all the reasons, the foremost one is film stars have a
short
Correct word choice
shorter
show examples
career span than that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doctors, engineers, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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. If they earn handsome millions of rupees, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
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secure their future.
This
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is the reason why
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrities are taking higher bucks.
Furthermore
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, entertainment is a very important part of our lives. In our day-to-day hustle and bustle routine, it is movies and music that rescue us from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
boredom and monotony.
While
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they work hard and put
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a lot of effort
for
Change preposition
into
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entertaining other
people
Use synonyms
. So, they
have deserved
Wrong verb form
deserve
show examples
to earn millions of dollars every year. With regards to the question of a beneficial trend or negative, I think it is helpful for society and nation.
High earning
Add a hyphen
High-earning
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superstar is helping in numerous ways to the country.
For example
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, the Times of India showed that Salman Khan donates 50
lakhs
Fix the agreement mistake
lakh
show examples
rupees
for
Change preposition
to
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children, who are suffering from blood cancer.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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they would open an acting school without charge for those who have no money to secure their future in
this
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field.
Thus
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, there are productivity benefits to the country and community.
To conclude
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, all the above points strengthen my opinion that
people
Use synonyms
in
entertainment
Correct article usage
the entertainment
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business receive
a
Correct article usage
the
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payment that they deserve and
this
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is a positive phenomenon for
people
Use synonyms
and
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
.
Submitted by ppparthpatel906 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the stance taken in the essay and provides a brief outline of the supporting points. The conclusion should summarize the main arguments and provide a clear final thought.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and supporting details to strengthen the argument. Ensure that each paragraph relates back to the main topic and supports the thesis statement effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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