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Band 5.5

Write about the following topic: The secret to success in life. Getting the right qualifications Contacts You should explain which factor is more important in achieving success, giving reasons to support your answer.What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

#topic #success #life #right #qualifications #contacts #factor #support #governments #amount #rubbish
Success is something that many of us aspire to achieve, but only a few manage to succeed. People have new business ideas with promising futures on paper,
however
, most of those will never develop any
further
. There are different factors that could increase the probability for some of them to be successful. In
this
 essay, I will explore what could make a bigger impact in the way to success, if having the right qualifications or suitable contacts. Part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society would dispute that having adequate qualifications is the most important factor to be successful. Education can give individuals skills that will be used to become one of the best in their field. The latest studies show that postgraduates in a science degree have 10 times more chances to create and run their own business, than those who have completed a humanity qualification.
However
, having the right contacts and knowing the right people can open a lot of doors and opportunities. In the current times, it is widely known that having an influential network is a must. I do believe that to be able to develop a good idea and to be able to put it into practice, you need support and advice from different professionals.
Therefore
, having the appropriate contacts may be detrimental to going far in life.
Submitted by olatzbaroja on

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task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good structure and presents clear ideas. However, the introduction could be more engaging by adding a thesis statement that clearly outlines your stance or argument. This would provide the reader with a clear idea of what to expect in the essay and helps in maintaining focus.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. This includes transitions between paragraphs, which can help guide the reader through your argument in a more structured manner.
task achievement
For a more complete response, consider addressing the prompt more directly. While you discussed the importance of qualifications and contacts, the prompt also asks what governments can do to help. Including a section on this topic would ensure a more comprehensive answer to the question posed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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