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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the percentages of male and female students getting top grades in 1960 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentages of male and female students getting top grades in 1960 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar charts compare the
percentages
Use synonyms
 of male and female
students
Use synonyms
 getting top
grades
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 in five subjects, which are science,
arts
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, maths,
languages
Use synonyms
, and
humanities
Use synonyms
 in 1960 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 of female
students
Use synonyms
 receiving the highest grade decreased during the time period,
while
Linking Words
 males have the opposite trend. In 1960, approximately 20% to 30% of males got good
grades
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 in science, maths,
languages
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, and
humanities
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. Even so, only a tenth of male
students
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getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 top
grades
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 in
arts
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
its
Change the word
the
show examples
percentages
Use synonyms
 of female
students
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 are 30%. They
also
Linking Words
 did better in language and
humanities
Use synonyms
, which made up 45% and around 32% in these subjects. In 2000, the
Use synonyms
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 of male
students
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 receiving top
grades
Use synonyms
 almost doubled in
arts
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 and
humanities
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the figures in science and maths decreased by half and stopped
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 17%. The
Use synonyms
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 of female
students
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 who got a high
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
 in
arts
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,
languages
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, and
humanities
Use synonyms
 decreased significantly after 40 years, which constituted 25% for
arts
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 and
humanities
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 and 30% for
languages
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentages, students, grades, arts, languages, humanities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentages
  • top grades
  • achievement
  • gender disparity
  • educational trends
  • academic performance
  • comparison
  • decade
  • educational policy
  • societal expectations
  • improvement
  • educational attainment
  • graduates
  • academic excellence
  • statistics
  • educational landscape
  • benchmark
  • parity
  • gender roles
  • historical data
  • performance indicators
  • educational improvements
  • longitudinal study
  • scholastic achievement
  • gender gap
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