IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Multicultural societies in which there are a mixture of ethnic people bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#societies #mixture #people #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Societies composed of people with different cultural and ethnical backgrounds have more advantages than disadvantages
as a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 mix.
This
Linking Words
 essay will totally agree with the statement and will show that benefits of multiculturalism in increasing cultural tourism and
also
Linking Words
 how it affect on the fast advancement of a state are stronger than the drawbacks. Different ethnicity and culture makes a place more attractive by tourist in every season of the year. Multiculturalism means to have an enormous component of the cultural travel
such
Linking Words
 as cuisine, clothing, handmade decorations and lifestyles so visiting a place with
such
Linking Words
 different cultures in one place is more than attractive for the tourists.
For example
Linking Words
, according to the travel magazine in a recent article have shown that the demand for cultural tourism in places
such
Linking Words
 as England has increased by 20 percent
as a result
Linking Words
 of their multicultural societies. The impact on the fast progress of a country is another benefit of the multi ethical and cultural society. In other word, different techniques, the best skills, knowledge and expertise will be mixed together, which will be lead to move secure and faster toward the prosperity.
For instance
Linking Words
, according an article published by Forbes, has shown that in list of the top ten countries with the highest economic expansion for the 2019, 8 of them are multicultural and ethnic. To conclude, the benefits of having different cultures and ethnicity in their composing help countries to have more cultural tourism and to have a faster evolution and prosperity are much stronger than the drawbacks of multiculturalism.
Submitted by basha.aldior2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: