Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

There are wide gaps in wealth between prosperous
countries
and destitute
countries
.
People
in different types of wealthy
countries
have enormous different well-being.So there is an argument
that
Change preposition
about
show examples
whether or not wealthy
nations
that have plenty of food and education should
have shared
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
their wealth
to
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with
show examples
poorer
nations
. In the ideal world, If
people
were kind and
had generosity
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generous
show examples
when they reached one level where their
resources
are
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were
show examples
more than enough for their
countries
,they would have
gave
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
them to other
nations
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
their
resources
are
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were
show examples
scanty.
However
normal
people
are acquisitive so there will not be a level where there is enough. Looking
in
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at
show examples
the past,there
was
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were
show examples
once wealthy
nations
such
as England and
Sprain
Correct your spelling
Spain
show examples
had
Correct pronoun usage
that had
show examples
provided their education including their languages and other
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
via colonization.
Thosed
Correct your spelling
These
colonized
countries
had developed significantly during that time but
also
they had been doing that in order to take away
resources
from their colonized country.If they
were
Verb problem
did
show examples
not get benefits from providing
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
,they would not have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
reason to do that.
Although
It may seem
like
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apply
show examples
hopeless for wealthy
countries
to give their
resources
to poorer
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.When these impoverished
countries
suffered from disaster.
For instance
,When Haiti had earthquakes in 2010 other
nations
were willing to help.they donated more than 7
millions
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million
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dollars to help
people
in Haiti
survived
Wrong verb form
survive
show examples
from
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
the shortage
show examples
of
resources
. To summarize,In normal
situations
Add a comma
situations,
show examples
it is almost impossible for
people
to share their wealth so it is the responsibility of the government in poorer
nations
to look after their
people
,
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
show examples
in catastrophic
situations
Add a comma
situations,
show examples
there is still generosity in
this
world.
Submitted by chawanat.pla on

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coherence cohesion
Work on developing topic sentences and making sure each paragraph supports a single main idea. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and explanations to create more depth in your arguments. This will enhance the comprehension of your ideas.
task achievement
Avoid grammatical and spelling errors to maintain clarity and professionalism throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You included real-life examples, like the Haiti earthquake, which make your argument more concrete and relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnected
  • global stability
  • economic self-sufficiency
  • sustainable development
  • capacity-building
  • foreign aid
  • mutual benefits
  • trade relations
  • long-term outcomes
  • dependency
  • moral obligation
  • alleviate poverty
  • humanitarian assistance
  • resource allocation
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