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The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity
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The presented bar chart compares the proportion of Australian genders who were busy
on
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doing physical exercises taking into account their ages
of
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in
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 2010. Looking at the chart, more males in their teenage
years
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 (15-24) tended to do
physical
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the physical
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 activity than females who belonged to that age group which corresponded
52.8
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to 52.8
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% and 47.7%, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the ratio of males decreased gradually in mature periods. The figure changed
42.2
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to 42.2
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% for
men
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 and 48.9%
for
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in their 25-34
years
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,
as well as
Linking Words
, it was 39.5% for
men
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 and 52.5% for
women
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 in their 35 to 44
years
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.
Nevertheless
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,
the
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in the
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 late adulthood period, the number of
men
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 increase and obviously, fewer
women
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 did
physical
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the physical
a physical
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 activity. The figure stood at 43.1% for
men
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 and 53.3% for
women
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 in their 45-54
years
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,
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 and changed to 45.1% and 53% respectively in their 54-65
years
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. It should be noted that the percentage of old ganders who did physical exercise nearly was the same
account
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accounting
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 for 46.7% and 47.1%. In conclusion, more
men
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 tended to do physical exercises than
women
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 in their teenage
years
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. The proportion of
men
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 decreased in mature
years
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, but it showed
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 later
however
Linking Words
 it was less than the percentage of
women
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. Genders reached the same percentage in their old
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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.
Submitted by venus_0204 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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