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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

#world #animals #food #products #medicines
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Nowadays, there
are
Suggestion
is
 a significant number of products made from animals like food or clothes can be replaced by other modern way.
Although
 I agree with
this
 trend, I
also
 argue that we still need animal products to some extent. On the one hand, it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer.
To begin
 with, animals are used to be the major sources of materials to produce the outfit, until now some wealthy people in many developed countries still use skin of animals for making their clothes.
However
,
this
 is the modern
century so
Accept comma addition
century, so
 there are a huge of materials can replace the animals’ skin.
Furthermore
, the meat like the chickens, beefs, porks can replace by the plant and vegetable
.
Accept space
.
 It provides sufficient nutrients for our body and can
also
 help us prevent from a substantial
problems
Suggestion
problem
such
 as the high blood pressure, cardiovascular and really good for our eyes.
For example
, carrot
contain
Suggestion
contains
 a lot of vitamin A and can prevent people from myopia.
On the other hand
, animal testing has played an essential role in the medical fields. With the development of
technology we
Accept comma addition
technology, we
 can replace animal experiment with the computer programs that could provide a significant number of results.
However
, finished drug must be inspected by testing animals like
hamster
Suggestion
hamsters
a hamster
 before giving to patients for safety.
For instance
, animal testing has so far saved many patients the virus diseases by finding suitable vaccines. To sum up, people should stop
experiments
Suggestion
experimenting
 on the animal and find some other new medicals by technology.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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