In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, there is a significant number of products made from

animals

Use synonyms

like food or clothes can be replaced by other modern

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

Although

Linking Words

I agree with

this

Linking Words

trend, I

also

Linking Words

argue that we still need animal products to some extent. On the one hand, it is morally wrong to cause

animals

Use synonyms

to suffer.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

animals

Use synonyms

are used to be the major sources of materials to produce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

outfit

Fix the agreement mistake

outfits

show examples

, until now some wealthy people in many developed countries still use

skin

Add an article

the skin

show examples

animals

Use synonyms

for making their clothes.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is the modern century, so there are a huge of materials

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

replace the

animals

Use synonyms

’ skin.

Furthermore

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

meat like

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

chickens

Fix the agreement mistake

chicken

show examples

beefs

Change the wording

beef

kinds of beef

slices of beef

portions of beef

show examples

porks

Correct word choice

and porks

show examples

can

replace

Wrong verb form

be replaced

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

plant

Fix the agreement mistake

plants

show examples

and

vegetable

Fix the agreement mistake

vegetables

show examples

. It provides sufficient nutrients for our body and can

also

Linking Words

help us prevent

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a substantial number of problems

such

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high blood pressure,

cardiovascular

Correct word choice

and cardiovascular

show examples

and

really

Add a missing verb

is really

show examples

good for our eyes.

For example

Linking Words

, carrot contains a lot of vitamin A and can prevent people from myopia.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, animal testing has played an essential role in the medical

fields

Fix the agreement mistake

field

show examples

. With the development of technology, we can replace animal

experiment

Fix the agreement mistake

experiments

show examples

with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

computer programs that could provide a significant number of results.

However

Linking Words

finished

Add an article

the finished

a finished

show examples

drug must be inspected by testing

animals

Use synonyms

like hamsters before giving to patients for safety.

For instance

Linking Words

, animal testing has so far saved many patients the virus diseases by finding suitable vaccines.

To sum up

Linking Words

, people should stop experimenting on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

and find some other new medicals by technology.

Thu Mar 26 2020

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coherence cohesion

Support your arguments with more specific examples and research to strengthen your position.

task response

Ensure that your arguments directly address the prompt and provide a clear and comprehensive response to the task.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

The advent of the internet has made it possible for people to work from home. Write an essay looking at the advantages and disadvantages of this professional arrangement. Share personal examples in your essay.

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.