IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that a good diet and exercise are not necessary for a healthy and long life .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #diet #exercise #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The increasing number of people with overweight problems is causing pressure to
health
Use synonyms
 care system which is dealing with
health
Use synonyms
 concerns because of overweight. It is believed that the most efficient, quick fix for
this
Linking Words
 issue is to insert more physical action in
Use synonyms
school schedule
Suggestion
the school schedule
school schedules
. I completely agree that
this
Linking Words
 is the best solution to deal and solve the problems with the
health
Use synonyms
 caused by the overweight.
This
Linking Words
 essay will demonstrate the impact of putting more physical activity in academy curriculum. And
also
Linking Words
 the importance of the healthy food. As an effective long-term solution to deal and prevent
Use synonyms
health problem
Suggestion
health problems
a health problem
 caused by obesity is to introduce more physical training in faculty plan. Being sited almost all day, the actual
school
Use synonyms
 schedule consists in only two times a week act which is insufficient to burn all the calories taken by the food consumed and to maintain the body fit.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a study from My strength company, schools in which the physical exercise is 4 times a week have only 3 percent of obese children while the
school
Use synonyms
 with only 2time a week have 33 percent. Despite inserting more physical exercise in
school
Use synonyms
 program, the consume of healthy cooking
instead
Linking Words
 of junk food will help to prevent obesity and
health
Use synonyms
 problems that can be caused
as a result
Linking Words
 of it. So, a campaign about selling and serving healthy foodstuff in schools might be a good solution to these problems. According to a report of the World
Health
Use synonyms
 Organization, the healthy meal is more absorbable by the organism, leading to a better function of the organs in complex and normally to be fit and more active. To conclude, the best explanation to prevent and deal with the growing number of the overweight people is to insert more physical workout in institute curriculum and
also
Linking Words
 to promote more the healthy
instead
Linking Words
 of junk feed.
Submitted by basha.aldior2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: