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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

It is common nowadays for many people, including
children
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, to use computers on a daily basis and play computer
games
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.
While
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 computers and the internet offer many advantages, they can
also
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 bring negative impacts, especially for young people.
This
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 essay will discuss the disadvantages of
children
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 playing video
games
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 and suggest ways to
minimize
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minimise
show examples
 these effects.
To begin
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 with, many computer
games
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 contain content
that is
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 unsuitable for
children
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. Some
games
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 include offensive language, violent behaviour, or even criminal activities.
For example
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,
games
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such
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 as Grand Theft Auto require players to carry out violent actions in order to progress.
However
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, many of the players are teenagers or
children
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 under the age of 18. The main concern is that
children
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 may not yet be able to clearly distinguish between virtual
games
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 and real life, which could encourage aggressive behaviour. Another negative impact is that video
games
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 provide instant gratification through short-term dopamine release, making players want to continue playing for long periods of time.
This
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 can be particularly harmful for
children
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, who may lack self-discipline and time-management skills.
As a result
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, excessive gaming may lead to poor academic performance and reduced social interaction with peers. These problems can be
minimized
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minimised
show examples
 through proper parental guidance. With the advancement of technology, parents can monitor their
children
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’s online activities by controlling screen time and blocking age-inappropriate content. Setting clear rules and limits can help
children
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 develop healthier gaming habits. In conclusion,
although
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 video
games
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 are widely popular, excessive and uncontrolled use can negatively affect
children
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’s behaviour and academic development.
Therefore
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, parents should play an active role in supervising their
children
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’s gaming activities to reduce these harmful effects.

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task response
Expand on the harm with more specific effects on kids' daily life, school, and social life. Link each bad effect to one clear example or scenario.
task response
Add more steps or ideas for how parents, schools, and kids can act in real life. Include practical rules and a plan.
position
Clear focus on negative effects and on how to reduce them.
content
Some good examples and clear reasoning.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • obesity
  • eye strain
  • inappropriate content
  • social skills
  • isolation
  • academic performance
  • time limits
  • parental supervision
  • age-appropriate
  • physical activities
  • digital literacy
  • balanced computer usage
  • excessive gaming
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