Shopping has become a favourite pastime among young people. Why do you think it is like that? Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping?

#favourite #pastime #people

Nowadays, shopping has become a favourite pastime among young people. But some people go shopping so much that

this

activity creates bad effects on them. So we have to look at both sides of

this

issue The

first

reason for

this

favourite pastime is they want to keep up with the latest trending especially fashion trending or else they will like they won’t be able to integrate into the society.

Second

, appearance is one of the things that catch everyone’s attention at

first

sight.

Therefore

they

of them or themselves

their

highly considered appearance and start to go shopping more to buy clothes or accessories in order to beautify themselves. In fact, social media

influces

a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc

influences

their way of thinking that they have to be perfect

everytime

Suggestion

every time

. That’s why most teenagers now wear makeup whenever they go out.

Third

, going shopping creates an opportunity to spend

time

with your friends and family. Most people would love to spend

time

with their family by going shopping and it allows you to understand more about the way other people dressed and more than that, the more

time

you spend with your family, the stronger the bond is between you and them.

Beside

Suggestion

Besides

shopping, you should play sports or doing voluntary work. By doing exercise, you can keep fit and being more responsible by being a volunteer.

Moreover

, volunteering

also

helps you to gain life skill. In conclusion, shopping is a nice way to spend

time but

Accept comma addition

time, but

other than that you can play

sport

Suggestion

sports

or doing

social

Suggestion

socially

activities

Suggestion

Activities

Fri Mar 27 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

249 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Shopping has become a favourite pastime among young people. Why do you think it is like that? Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because it will make people dissatisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.

your neighbours have recently written to you to you about the noise from your houseflat. Write a letter to your neighbours, in your letter: - explain a reason for the noise - apologise - describe what actions will you take

Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in reach countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem . Provide specific reason and examples to support your answer.