IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people believe that it is better to spend more money to eliminate the cause of crime, while other think that the government should spend more on punishment. Discuss both views and give you opinion?

#people #money #crime #government #punishment
The bar graph compares the proportion of females who were jobless in four different countries in the United Kingdom, both in 2013 and 2014. Overall, it is clear that England had
higher percentage
Suggestion
a higher percentage
higher percentages
 if unemployed women in 2013 and
this
 was reversed by Scotland in the following year.
[
Accept space
[
However
, the latter didn’t surpass the prior’s rate in the earlier year.] In 2013, England had the highest percentage of unemployed women comparing it to the other countries in the UK. It had 6.8% which
was
Suggestion
were
 slightly greater than Scotland
at
Suggestion
in
 6.1%.
Further
, Northern Ireland and Wales had lesser recorded rates at 5.6% and 5.4%, respectively. The following year showed a significant change in the data with Scotland having the highest jobless females. It shows that there was 6.7% Scottish females who didn’t have a job [and
this
 is 0.1% lower than the England’s figure in 2013].
This
 is followed by the English women with a little lower ratio by 0.2%. Meanwhile, Wales’ unemployment rate of women was at 5.0
% while
Accept comma addition
%, while
 Northern Ireland recorded 4.6% out of work in 2014.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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