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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The maps provided below present information about the alteration of the West Park Secondary School in the period from 1950 to 2010.
According to
Linking Words
 the maps, the school building was situated on the right side along the main road. There were the houses
next
Linking Words
 to the building which had been completely destroyed in 1980
whereas
Linking Words
 the science block and car park
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 constructed. The other remarkable change took place in the location of the farmland behind the house which had been turned into
the
Correct article usage
a
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 sports field in 1980. The playground,
likewise
Linking Words
, the Main building
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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remained untouched through the period from 1950 to 2010.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 significant modification occurred in the sports field, it was cut down,
by contrast
Linking Words
, the parking space was enlarged and took the entire place behind the science block, where the sports ground
partly
Add a missing verb
was partly
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 situated before. In conclusion, it is explicitly observed that the area was modernized through the 60 years of its construction.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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