retirement age should be raised? Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In these days, it is becoming
debatable phenomenon
Suggestion
a debatable phenomenon
of whether the
age
of
retirement
ought to be increased or not. Some people show their agreement for
this
situation but
Accept comma addition
situation, but
others make complaints regarding to rising
age
. In
this
essay it
Accept comma addition
essay, it
will be discussed both views with their examples and explanations. On the one hand it is true that
rising
Suggestion
the rising age
age
of working creates a huge opportunity not only the government or company
itself but
Accept comma addition
itself, but
also
individuals as the older people
become the
Accept comma addition
become, the
more they demand attention from their
acquitances
personal knowledge or information about someone or something
acquaintances
acquaintance
and if companies dismissed them in younger
age
, they will become to feel a sense of isolation which causes a serious health problems during their later
life
.
Furthermore
, as
result
Suggestion
a result
the result
of early
retirement
, individuals can obtain a serious health problems like obesity since citizens stop movement that they regularly act in their working
life
day.
On the other hand
,
retirement
Suggestion
the retirement age
age
should not to be increased for people for the reason that nowadays, people
can not
can not
cannot
afford to concentrate their attention to their family members or even the
heath
a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease
health
of themselves because of their
work
.
Consequently
, children can not feel their parents care for
themselves even
Accept comma addition
themselves, even
they lose a sense of
belonging feelings
Accept comma addition
belonging, feelings
due to being busy of their parents for their job. Giving an early
retirement
to workers gives more comforts to pay attention to these things in order to keep
work
life
balance
on
Suggestion
in
of
their daily
life
and they have enough time for even caring their own
healths
an open recess in a wall at the base of a chimney where a fire can be built
hearths
. In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages of
this
issue.
However
, I think it is much more better retiring from
work
in
Suggestion
at
an early
age
rather than older because there are
also
more important things than
work
in people's lifestyle.

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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