Some people believe that technology has made men more sociable, and others think that it has made us less sociable. Discuss both views

#people #technology #men

In these days there are some arguable that doing modern

technology

have been done human-being

relationship

socialized but

Accept comma addition

socialized, but

other

plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned

others

believe that

this

tend

Suggestion

tends

have been decreasing them to less socialized onto human

relationship

. In

this

essay I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of these viewpoints in details before the conclusion is reached. On the one hand, many people suggest that modern

technology

have been done

Suggestion

has been done

human being

relationship

to be more socialized. It can be seen that development and

advancement

Suggestion

advanced

technology

in terms of the internet can be widespread and breakthrough us via several of social applications

such

facebook

Suggestion

Facebook

youtube

Suggestion

YouTube

and so on. These social applications can lead us keep in touch each other easier, faster and more convenient. Facebook,

for instance

, people can up-to-date, post, keep in touch in many various

kind

Suggestion

kinds

of news, photos, private matter, or even communication with others by texting, voicing and video conferencing.

As a result

of modern

technology

in these days could have been affected mankind livelihood to be more socialized not only being in domestic, but

also

all over the world. In spite

of living different

Suggestion

of living in different

continents, we could keep in touch just one clicking on electronic devices

such

as smartphones and laptops to be closer and get

involve

Suggestion

involved

in modern society.

On the other hand

, it can be

noticeable

Suggestion

noticed

that some people can be isolating and less sociable due to

advancement

Suggestion

advancing

advanced

technology

. It can be seen that these days most of people tend to pay attention on

technology

devices

such

as smartphones, laptop and computer rather than conversation face-to-face with family members and surrounding friends.

As a result

this

issue, it can be impacted human being

relationship

Suggestion

relates

relating

to be decreasing and less socialized eventually.

For instance

, my cousin addicted with

smartphones

Suggestion

smart phones

and social application. When all of relatives come to join

Suggestion

family occasion festival

Suggestion

a family occasion festival

such

as New Year or even Songkran festival, she turned to deliberate on

mobile phone

Suggestion

mobile phones

a mobile phone

rather than talking and make conversation with other relatives.

This

issue can be

leading

Suggestion

led

to isolating

consequently

. In conclusion, it can be seen that these days modern

technology

could enhance and influence us more socialized via social application in regard with human-being

relationship

could be easier, faster and closer, but there are some drawbacks of modern

technology

tend to affect us to be more isolated and less socialized from vicinity and surrounding vibe. There are both benefits and drawbacks that should be considered by each individual to be practice in moderate way in order to maintain us getting involve society amid advancement

technology

Sat Mar 28 2020

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

426 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that technology has made men more sociable, and others think that it has made us less sociable. Discuss both views

Your opinion

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