IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

many people think that rich people get opportunity is that they can help the other people. do you agree or disagree ?

#people #opportunity
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There is a part of society who is in a position to serve others. Many people feel that the riches have the best opportunity to help others. In my opinion, I completely agree that rich people can help others by doing fund job and generating employment by doing local production.
Firstly
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, rich people can help the people in need by doing some donation performance. It will provide them the basic necessities of life to live.
Furthermore
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, with the help of fund they can extend their support to their family which will give a sense of accomplishment to them.
For example
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, some kids who do not have access to education can get it with the help of donations.
Therefore
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, funds will not only help people to improve their life but
also
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 motivate them to task harder.
In addition
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, rich people have the ability to do the almost any kind of field and doing field at local level will generate employment for the one’s who are in need of it.
In other words
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, being employed will improve their overall lifestyle as well as encourage them to help
further
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. Take construction of factories,
for instance
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, it will generate numerous number of jobs during the construction phase but
also
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 after completion.
Thus
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, work will help needy people to have a job, but will
also
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 make rich people richer so they can help
further
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. In conclusion, rich people have the best chance of being able to help others which will give a sense of fulfilment to them and ultimately, make the lives of other people better.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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