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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the amount of area used for growing grains between 1990 and 2010 in a state in Canada.summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the amount of area used for growing grains between 1990 and 2010 in a state in Canada.summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #amount #area #grains #canada #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given bar chart illustrates the amount of area used for growing grains in different regions in a state of Canada for a period of 20 years.
Overall
, the amount of the country used for growing grains in Red field was
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
show examples
Acres
from
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1990 and 2000,
while
 the least area accounted for others. As can be seen from the graph
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 Red field was 60
Acres
 of
region
Add an article
the region
show examples
 for growing gains
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 to 2000, but it declined to
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 53
Acres
 in 2010. The
decrease
Change the verb form
decreased
show examples
 ground was 5
Acres
 used by the Others in the given year. Sunny valley and spring plains
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuation
Change the noun form
fluctuations
show examples
 in using
Acres
 for grown grains. Below 40 Acre region
used
Add a missing verb
was used
show examples
 by
sunny
Add an article
a sunny
the sunny
show examples
 valley in 1990, which inclined
43
Change preposition
to 43
show examples
Acres
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2000 year, and sharply
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 around 28
Acres
 in 2010,
while
 spring plains used 35
Acres
 in 1990 and sharply declined
20
Change preposition
to 20
show examples
acres
 in 2000, and Sharply inclined
22
Change preposition
to 22
show examples
Acres
 in 2010.
Submitted by bachchanaznin on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words acres with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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