IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
It is true that
music
 can be a great chance for a good relationship between different countries and cultures, like a bright. I totally agree with
this
 topic. In
this
 essay I will discuss about the importance of
song
 for all of humanity and the reasons for my opinion. There are several reasons and examples how
music
 affects relationships
among
Suggestion
between
 different people from different countries.
Firstly
,
music
 is a language which people can talk about
social problem
Suggestion
social problems
a social problem
 or about reasons of happiness.
For example
, Michael Jackson has a
song
, which called “earth
song
’,
this
song
 about environmental pollution. He has fans of the all earth. As well as, he has a
song
 about love and millions of people know
this
song
 regardless of nation.
Secondly
, in fact, we had a lot of singing
competitions
Suggestion
competition
 that influence the attitude of countries. Because of
this
, beautiful singing voices, and best songs,
good
Suggestion
best
 tune and meaningful text
affects
property of a personal character that is portable but not used in business
effects
 for every person equally regardless of nation.
This
 would explain why televised
music
 competitions,
such
 as “Eurovision” or “X-factor”. These programs very popular among different people.
Finally
, I have a lot of friends, who are fans of Korean brands. They like folk
music
 of
this
 nation, because of
this
 they likes traditional foods, culture and their dress. I think, it is a good
possible
Suggestion
possibility
, because it was influenced only by
music
. In conclusion, I think, that
music
 plays an important role in human life and everyone
listen
Suggestion
listens
 to
music
 in
different language
Suggestion
different languages
a different language
.
Music
 is good opportunity of humanity
Submitted by ghjkl;' on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: