There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

Music

is an essential cultural and traditional component of a nation and a rich variety of

music

could be found all around the world that not only entertains

us but

Accept comma addition

us, but

also

expresses our joy, nationalism, freedom, happiness, love and struggles in the finest form of arts. Despite the huge popularity of international

music

, traditional

music

is still more important due to its adherence to the traditional aspects of a country. We need

music

because it makes our

life

meaningful and accompanies us throughout our lives. In our childhood, we listen and learn

music

simply as a form of entertainment and joy. We learn to sing our national anthem and our parents sing to us to help us sleep. Later in

life

, we come across a variety of songs and

music

as part of our

life

stories and our favourite

music

often defines the person we become. In our old age, we see

life

and recite memories through

music

we love.

Music

both expresses and arouses emotions in a way that words alone cannot, and it tells stories of our lives that we long to hear.

Thus

we need

music

to relax, to be entertained, to be inspired, to express our feelings and often to relieve boredom in

life

. In considering which kind of

music

is the most important, we must acknowledge that traditional

music

teaches people about their history and helps people remember and retain their national and cultural identity. International

music

is often set in a totally different environment that we have no experience in and despite engaging and entertaining lyrics and

music

style, it is often a commercial product which fails to reflect the true stories in our

life

. Traditional

music

by contrast

, expresses the culture, tradition and history of a country and gives narratives of people and their

life

in a way that will

be always relevant

Suggestion

always be relevant

Thus traditional

Accept comma addition

Thus, traditional

music

, without any doubt, is more important for us as people in a society and a country. In conclusion,

music

is a crucial part of our

life

and existence, and I believe that traditional

music

should be given more importance than

international

Suggestion

the international music

music

so that we can enjoy

music

not only for entertainment’s sake but

also

to learn who we really are.

Sun Mar 29 2020

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

374 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is often suggested that schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Do you think that advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?