Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

#sports #people #part #suggestions #dangers

Nowadays, a few gaming events are massively dangerous to humankind.

However

, innumerable humans keen on it. There are several reasons associated with it. The reasons and the measures to tackle it are justified

further

. The core cause for the aforementioned concept is that people want to thrill themselves by doing

such

hazardous sports. By

this

I mean that, they have

dream

Suggestion

a dream

to do

such

activities. The other reason could be that they want to become

celebrity

Suggestion

a celebrity

celebrities

This

is to say, one will become a star if he wins in any critical sports event. The rearmost coherent factor to be considered which

can not

cannot

be neglected

is one

Accept comma addition

is, one

would earn a plethora of money by winning

gaming

Suggestion

games

event in a single day.

For instance

, many

citizen

Suggestion

citizens

are fond of doing sky diving which is highly risky. Even though, they participate in it to earn money. A practical way out from the undesirable situation under discussion could be the media’s promotion.

This

is because,

media

Suggestion

the media

can aware the civilians about the detrimental impacts related to it.

In addition

, the government should establish some strict rules to be followed by players while doing dangerous sports.

Furthermore

, if

such

dreadful events are done

Suggestion

with

supervision

Suggestion

the supervision

of experts

then

not only it would save

individuals life

Suggestion

the individual's life

individual's life

individual life

individuals' life

but

also

protect them from gigantic medical expenses. To uphold my notion, I would quote an instance of

United States

Suggestion

the United States

where all

such

events are done

Suggestion

with

supervision

Suggestion

the supervision

umpire

Suggestion

the umpire

. In recapitulation, it can be

finally

commented that the core origin of the aforementioned concept is

individual’s desire

Suggestion

an individual’s desire

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

his dream as well as to thrill themselves.

Besides

, the feasible route to deal with the same is to spread awareness of

outcome

Suggestion

the outcome

of it in people.

Submitted by harshal1782 on Sun Mar 29 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers.

Fully explain your ideas

Directors and managers of organization are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?