IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some time countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Nowadays, it is very common to
travel
Use synonyms
 or work during and after the educational period.
Mostly
Use the right word
Most
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to do
such
Linking Words
 activities when they
got
Verb problem
have
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 6 months or 12 months of free time.
Although
Linking Words
travel
Use synonyms
doesn't
Verb problem
is not
show examples
limit
Replace the word
limited
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 rich
people
Use synonyms
, the most common person is
also
Linking Words
 travelling
also
Linking Words
travel
Use synonyms
 as per their economic strength. There are always positive and negative sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 everything
both
Punctuation problem
; both
show examples
 views are discussed as follows. One of the biggest advantages is
by
Correct word choice
that by
show examples
 travelling or working,
people
Use synonyms
 have become more active mentally and physically
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
ultimately
Verb problem
is ultimately
show examples
 helpful for them. During the work,
people
Use synonyms
 have lots of experience, whether it is good or bad, but they learn a lot, which will help them in future corporate sectors.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 travelling
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 it is the most interesting way of learning by observation and the exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 new cultures and
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, one of my cousin brothers used to
travel
Use synonyms
 a lot because during the journey he
has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
faced lots of difficulties and
challenge
Replace the word
challenged
show examples
 self-limitations
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
makes
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 him extend his own limitations, so ultimately he
has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
developed or learned about himself after completion of the trip, so for him each journey reveals his new interpersonal skills. On the negative side, some
people
Use synonyms
 have become habitual
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 shorter trips just for fun or change of mind,
although
Linking Words
 they don’t have enough financial strength and
due to
Linking Words
 that, it becomes one of the root causes of problems in a family.
Similarly
Linking Words
, another adverse effect is, some students have worked after school and
as
Change preposition
since
show examples
 they
got
Verb problem
have received
show examples
 a regular income so they do not prefer to complete their education and get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 degree certificate. In conclusion, I firmly believe that young
people
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged to break their
boundaries
Punctuation problem
boundaries,
show examples
also
Linking Words
 they should
aware
Verb problem
be aware
show examples
 of the importance of
educational
Correct article usage
an educational
show examples
 certificate in order to get better future opportunities.

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task response
State a clear view in the intro and end. Give both sides and what you think.
development
Add more real examples and explain how travel or work helps in life and job.
coherence
Make one idea per paragraph and use linking words like also, but, and.
grammar
Fix long sentences and use simple, correct grammar.
structure
Use new line for each idea and check punctuation.
content
You try to show both sides.
example
You give a real example.
structure
Intro and conclusion are used.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • trend
  • exchange
  • gap year
  • independence
  • maturity
  • finance
  • budget
  • safety
  • culture shock
  • language skills
  • soft skills
  • CV
  • resume
  • work experience
  • employability
  • career
  • deadline
  • planning
  • goal
  • program
  • volunteer
  • internship
  • certificate
  • visa
  • legal
  • accommodation
  • home
  • country
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • problem solving
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • navigation
  • itinerary
  • host country
  • codes of conduct
  • discipline
  • time management
  • self discipline
  • networks
  • connections
  • opportunity
  • risk
  • uncertainty
  • benefit
  • lesson
  • growth
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