IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that overeating is harmful and advertising for some food products should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #food #products
It is no doubt true that excessive intake is likely to have a detrimental effect on consumers’
health
. I totally agree that some
food
 advertisements should be prohibited because banning some advertisings can help tackle some
health
 problems and they may mislead the consumers to be swayed by
food
 advertising campaigns.
Firstly
, the authorities’ prohibition of some
food
benefit
good
 promotion can prevent people from wetting their appetite, which helps reduce tremendous cases of overeating-related illness.
For instance
, if the youth who do not have much experience in choosing their diet do not watch a commercial advertisement for a kind of junk-
food
, they will not desire to consume the product.
Therefore
, they will not overeat while watching television, which cut down on the numbers of obese patients.
Secondly
, the governments should impose a ban on some
food
 advertisements due to its misleading. Some
food
 producers do not mention the negative effects on their users’
health
.
For example
, some beverages may cause overweight if consumed too much;
however
, no warnings are given to alert the buyers.
As a result
,
this
 consumption may lead to some
health
 problems,
such
 as obesity. In conclusion,
food
advertising banning
Accept comma addition
advertising, banning
 should be imposed as it helps consumers not to consume some negative-impact
food
, which results in bettering people’s physical conditions.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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