IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that overeating is harmful and advertising for some food products should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #food #products
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It is no doubt true that excessive intake is likely to have a detrimental effect on consumers’
health
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. I totally agree that some
food
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 advertisements should be prohibited because banning some advertisings can help tackle some
health
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 problems and they may mislead the consumers to be swayed by
food
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 advertising campaigns.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the authorities’ prohibition of some
Use synonyms
food
benefit
good
 promotion can prevent people from wetting their appetite, which helps reduce tremendous cases of overeating-related illness.
For instance
Linking Words
, if the youth who do not have much experience in choosing their diet do not watch a commercial advertisement for a kind of junk-
food
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, they will not desire to consume the product.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will not overeat while watching television, which cut down on the numbers of obese patients.
Secondly
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, the governments should impose a ban on some
food
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 advertisements due to its misleading. Some
food
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 producers do not mention the negative effects on their users’
health
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.
For example
Linking Words
, some beverages may cause overweight if consumed too much;
however
Linking Words
, no warnings are given to alert the buyers.
As a result
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,
this
Linking Words
 consumption may lead to some
health
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 problems,
such
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 as obesity. In conclusion,
food
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advertising banning
Accept comma addition
advertising, banning
 should be imposed as it helps consumers not to consume some negative-impact
food
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, which results in bettering people’s physical conditions.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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