IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #fear #streets #robberies #houses #person #security #support
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over recent year, there has been an increasing criminal due to the robbery occurs regularly in almost country.
Security
 has been regarded as a crucial factors that help us to define statistics of crime rate indirectly. In my opinion, we need the positive actions to upgrade the
security
.
First
 of all, it is undeniable that preventive actions could reduce the probability of Being in danger of criminal. Indeed, almost burglaries often happen in some lower
security
 area without individual supervision. These places need to be equipped with
security
 cameras and home surveillance devices to prevent their properties from theft.
This
 is necessary for the owner to deal with a multitude of criminals they might encounter in their daily life.
Secondly
, people should enhance their mental state of
security
 by extending criminal knowledge. If we can increase the awareness about preventing crimes, we could generally reduce the ability of being a victim.
For instance
, numerous cases of infiltration have been prevented by instantly police contacting. In conclusion, there are several ways of self-defence in high-risk situations, but as far as
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 am concerned, providing knowledge about preventive criminals is the top priority to each citizen.
Submitted by datdang912001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: