It is more important for a building to serve purpose than look beautiful , architectures should not worry about producing building as a work of art. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, building construction is rising very rapidly. It is observed that it is important to make
building
which can serve Add an article
a building
the
purpose rather than Correct article usage
a
beautiful
. Builders Add a missing verb
be beautiful
not
need to make it more creative. I largely agree with the statement. My perception is Change the verb form
do not
did not
further
justified.
Discussing the reasons the foremost is some builders spend more money
in
the looks of the building. So sometimes the purpose of building cannot be served. Spending Change preposition
on
money
on the outer can rise
Correct your spelling
raise
the
expenses so it cannot be invested in other things. For Correct article usage
apply
an
example, if the government is making Correct article usage
apply
hospital
it is not important to make Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
on
Change preposition
apply
it
, they will not have Correct pronoun usage
them
money
for other things such
as schools and roads. Secondly
one is
if the building is beautiful, but Verb problem
,
it
is not useful Correct pronoun usage
apply
so
it is a waste of Correct word choice
apply
money
and timeRephrase
apply
also
.
Similarly
it Add a comma
Similarly,
also
use
more materials sometimes the materials spend more than Change the verb form
uses
the
Correct your spelling
they
needs
some materials Replace the word
needed
comes
through Change the verb form
come
the
foreign so it Correct article usage
apply
reduce
our Change the verb form
reduces
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
over
national income.
Change preposition
apply
However
the Add a comma
However,
outlooks
of the building can make Fix the agreement mistake
outlook
atmosphere
good for work or study. If the building Correct article usage
the atmosphere
which
can attract more and more people to visit. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For example
, if the company's building is beautiful, it can help workers to feel fresh as well as
give boost
to do more work. Add an article
a boost
In addition
, it said that first
impression is Correct article usage
the first
last
impression building's outer look is Correct article usage
the last
first
impression so it is important Change the article
the first
to
Change preposition
that
structure
is beautiful.
Add an article
the structure
a structure
To conclude
building maker
should make Fix the agreement mistake
makers
building
which can serve our needs it is a priority. Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
However
it can Add a comma
However,
also
beautiful
for some reasons. In my opinion, it is essential to make it purposeful.Add a missing verb
be beautiful
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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement, and the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points. Ensure that the essay introduces the topic and clearly presents the writer's stance, while also providing a concise conclusion that reaffirms the position and key arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay partially addresses the task by discussing the importance of function over aesthetics in building construction. However, there is a need to provide more specific and relevant examples and to develop the arguments more thoroughly.
Lexical Resource
There is a range of vocabulary used, but there are instances of word choice and usage that affect clarity and precision. Work on using more varied and appropriate vocabulary to convey ideas effectively.
Grammatical Range
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable errors in sentence construction and word choice. Focus on using more complex sentence structures and ensure better control of grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity and coherence.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example