IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is more important for a building to serve purpose than look beautiful , architectures should not worry about producing building as a work of art. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, building construction is rising very rapidly. It is observed that it is important to make
building
Add an article
a building
show examples
 which can serve
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 purpose rather than
beautiful
Add a missing verb
be beautiful
show examples
. Builders
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
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 need to make it more creative. I largely agree with the statement. My perception is
further
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 justified. Discussing the reasons the foremost is some builders spend more
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the looks of the building. So sometimes the purpose of building cannot be served. Spending
money
Use synonyms
 on the outer can
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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expenses so it cannot be invested in other things. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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example, if the government is making
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
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 it is not important to make
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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, they will not have
money
Use synonyms
 for other things
such
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 as schools and roads.
Secondly
Linking Words
one is
Verb problem
,
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 if the building is beautiful, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is not useful
so
Correct word choice
apply
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it is a waste of
money
Use synonyms
 and time
Rephrase
apply
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also
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.
Linking Words
Similarly
Add a comma
Similarly,
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 it
also
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use
Change the verb form
uses
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 more materials sometimes the materials spend more than
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
needs
Replace the word
needed
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 some materials
comes
Change the verb form
come
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 through
the
Correct article usage
apply
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foreign so it
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
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 our
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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over
Change preposition
apply
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national income.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the
outlooks
Fix the agreement mistake
outlook
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 of the building can make
atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
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 good for work or study. If the building
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can attract more and more people to visit.
For example
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, if the company's building is beautiful, it can help workers to feel fresh
as well as
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 give
boost
Add an article
a boost
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 to do more work.
In addition
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, it said that
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 impression is
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 impression building's outer look is
first
Change the article
the first
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 impression so it is important
to
Change preposition
that
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structure
Add an article
the structure
a structure
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 is beautiful.
To conclude
Linking Words
 building
maker
Fix the agreement mistake
makers
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 should make
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 which can serve our needs it is a priority.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 it can
also
Linking Words
beautiful
Add a missing verb
be beautiful
show examples
 for some reasons. In my opinion, it is essential to make it purposeful.

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement, and the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points. Ensure that the essay introduces the topic and clearly presents the writer's stance, while also providing a concise conclusion that reaffirms the position and key arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay partially addresses the task by discussing the importance of function over aesthetics in building construction. However, there is a need to provide more specific and relevant examples and to develop the arguments more thoroughly.
Lexical Resource
There is a range of vocabulary used, but there are instances of word choice and usage that affect clarity and precision. Work on using more varied and appropriate vocabulary to convey ideas effectively.
Grammatical Range
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable errors in sentence construction and word choice. Focus on using more complex sentence structures and ensure better control of grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity and coherence.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Functionality
  • Utilitarian
  • Practicality
  • Function
  • Purpose
  • Aesthetics
  • Artistic value
  • Design
  • Architectural
  • Harmony
  • Visual appeal
  • Form follows function
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Balance
What to do next:
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