More and more students choose to move to other countries to study their higher education. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?
Nowadays, there is a contentious issue regarding whether
students
should complete their higher studies abroad and away from their home countries. In my opinion, the merits outweigh the drawbacks.
There are considerable benefits to refine
Wrong verb form
refining
students
’ personality
. Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
Hence
, I think that living abroad allows students
to interact with different cultures and learn the way to deal with numerous situations. To illustrate, my siblings have chosen to study in Germany and I can feel that their way of thinking improved compared to school time. In addition
, they can learn how to be independent from their families. They would be able to organize and take care of their personal needs that parents
used to take care of Correct pronoun usage
their parents
while
they were younger.
However
, there are potential drawbacks to students
moving to live away from their parents
. The main issue is that there is a probability to make
friendships that might have adverse effects on their studies. Change preposition
of making
Furthermore
, parents
won’t be able to track their children’s progress at college and
can cause problems in the future especially if they are paying for their college fees.
In conclusion, the merits Correct word choice
which
to
Change preposition
of
students
to move study abroad outweigh the drawbacks as it can benefit to develop the student’s personality
which Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
parents
had a huge impact while
they were in school. Change preposition
on while
This
will assist the students
to be in a better position after going into the industrial life. However
, parents
might face difficulty to track
their children’s progress and the type of friends they will have at college. Given the Change preposition
in tracking
situation
it seems that Add a comma
situation,
students
should complete their higher studies abroad.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Provide clearer examples to support your points
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion mirror each other and represent the content of the essay fully
task achievement
Address the prompt more directly, and ensure that your ideas are comprehensive and well-developed
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
