More and more students choose to move to other countries to study their higher education. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

#students #move #countries #study #education #outweigh

Nowadays, there is a contentious issue regarding whether

students

should complete their higher studies abroad and away from their home countries. In my opinion, the merits outweigh the drawbacks. There are considerable benefits to

refine

Wrong verb form

refining

show examples

students

’

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

show examples

Hence

, I think that living abroad allows

students

to interact with different cultures and learn the way to deal with numerous situations. To illustrate, my siblings have chosen to study in Germany and I can feel that their way of thinking improved compared to school time.

In addition

, they can learn how to be independent from their families. They would be able to organize and take care of their personal needs that

parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

show examples

used to take care of

while

they were younger.

However

, there are potential drawbacks to

students

moving to live away from their

parents

. The main issue is that there is a probability

to make

Change preposition

of making

show examples

friendships that might have adverse effects on their studies.

Furthermore

parents

won’t be able to track their children’s progress at college

and

Correct word choice

which

show examples

can cause problems in the future especially if they are paying for their college fees. In conclusion, the merits

Change preposition

show examples

students

to move study abroad outweigh the drawbacks as it can benefit to develop the student’s

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

show examples

which

parents

had a huge impact

while

Change preposition

on while

show examples

they were in school.

This

will assist the

students

to be in a better position after going into the industrial life.

However

parents

might face difficulty

to track

Change preposition

in tracking

show examples

their children’s progress and the type of friends they will have at college. Given the

situation

Add a comma

situation,

show examples

it seems that

students

should complete their higher studies abroad.

Tue Mar 31 2020

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coherence cohesion

Provide clearer examples to support your points

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion mirror each other and represent the content of the essay fully

task achievement

Address the prompt more directly, and ensure that your ideas are comprehensive and well-developed

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more students choose to move to other countries to study their higher education. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+