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More and more students choose to move to other countries to study their higher education. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

#students #move #countries #study #education #outweigh
Nowadays, there is a contentious issue regarding whether
students
 should complete their higher studies abroad and away from their home countries. In my opinion, the merits outweigh the drawbacks. There are considerable benefits to
refine
Wrong verb form
refining
show examples
students
’
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
.
Hence
, I think that living abroad allows
students
 to interact with different cultures and learn the way to deal with numerous situations. To illustrate, my siblings have chosen to study in Germany and I can feel that their way of thinking improved compared to school time.
In addition
, they can learn how to be independent from their families. They would be able to organize and take care of their personal needs that
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
 used to take care of
while
 they were younger.
However
, there are potential drawbacks to
students
 moving to live away from their
parents
. The main issue is that there is a probability
to make
Change preposition
of making
show examples
 friendships that might have adverse effects on their studies.
Furthermore
,
parents
 won’t be able to track their children’s progress at college
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 can cause problems in the future especially if they are paying for their college fees. In conclusion, the merits
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
students
 to move study abroad outweigh the drawbacks as it can benefit to develop the student’s
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
 which
parents
 had a huge impact
while
Change preposition
on while
show examples
 they were in school.
This
 will assist the
students
 to be in a better position after going into the industrial life.
However
,
parents
 might face difficulty
to track
Change preposition
in tracking
show examples
 their children’s progress and the type of friends they will have at college. Given the
situation
Add a comma
situation,
show examples
 it seems that
students
 should complete their higher studies abroad.

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coherence cohesion
Provide clearer examples to support your points
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion mirror each other and represent the content of the essay fully
task achievement
Address the prompt more directly, and ensure that your ideas are comprehensive and well-developed

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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