Some people think that man's relationship with animals has changed throughout ages and the use of them in human's life in the modern era is totally different from what it used to be. To what extent do you agree on disagree?

While man’s lifestyle is evolving permanently toward more convenient life, the side effects of modernization have altered almost most aspects of not only human but
also
other *creatures'* lives.
Therefore
, I will argue that one of the underlying consequences that could be easily distinguished is man’s approach of treating with animals which their existence is vital for wildlife.
Firstly
, enhanced societies
demand
Suggestion
demands
everything to be done as
swift
Suggestion
swiftly
as possible considering comfortability.
Man’s lifestyle
Suggestion
The man’s lifestyle
is being developed in
rat race
Suggestion
the rat race
a rat race
,
consequently
Suggestion
consequent
requirements should be accommodated impeccably and briskly.
For instance
, people used to transport by horses in ancient
eras but
Accept comma addition
eras, but
nowadays faster vehicles
such
as airplanes and cars are utilized
instead
as they can save man’s time.
Furthermore
,
human’s
Suggestion
human
ancestors used to raise chickens to supply their daily meal but it is substituted with massive companies that manufacture human’s common food in big scale.
Therefore
, fulfilling man’s necessity with novel procedure *has* almost eliminated
outdated relationship
Suggestion
the outdated relationship
with animals.
Secondly
, as
population
Suggestion
the population
has been *growing* and *
consequently
* consumption has been
sored
having turned bad
soured
seared
shared
, numerous species are endangered now.
Therefore
, new methods are needed to halt
excessive employment
Suggestion
the excessive employment
of animals.
For instance
, illegal poaching of animals with the aim of using their horn or wool and hunting sharks for selling their
fins which
Accept comma addition
fins, which
is the staple portion of some countries’ economy, have exposed countless species in the sea and on the ground at the risk of extinction as a detrimental repercussion on health of planet earth.
Accordingly
, conservation zones are identified in order to protect animals and preserve them in remote areas, lead into
less relation
Suggestion
the less relation
between man and animals.
Hence
, escalating health condition of wildlife forces man to avoid intimate contact with animals
in contrast
to previous centuries.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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