IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #schools #purpose #support
Schools are considered as institutions purposed exclusively for teaching by some people, whereas others suggest schoolrooms should be more enjoyable places. I believe educational institutions ought to offer more engaging learning programs in order to improve socialization of children and promote their effectiveness.
Firstly
, dullness has always been the central problem of one’s productivity, especially at schools.
This
 is because repetitive and monotonous learning atmosphere results in lack of interest among young generations.
For instance
, Finnish Ministry of education conducted a study in which mini-series that combined educational and entertaining elements were developed and presented to students. The subsequent results showed the potential of edutainment to promote critical thinking, increased engagement, and mindset growth.
Therefore
, having an interactive school entertainment can quickly soothe their boredom.
Secondly
, there is little social interaction taking place in many of today’s classrooms from kindergarten through college.
This
 is due to the fact that those children can be sitting in the same room together all day without having a proper interaction with each other because of the workloads.
For instance
, having a trip going somewhere nice would be a great helper to know each other and eventually bring them closer.
Moreover
, it strengthens their bond as students as well their respect for the teachers.
Consequently
, social interaction through meaningful dialogue among learners is vital to the learning process. To conclude from the examples and arguments given I firmly believe that education and entertainment frequently intersect, and when they do, we can enjoy the best of both worlds
such
 as rich delights and profound learning.
Submitted by dzonik1 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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