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Band 5

Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #freedom
To live in a world with few external restrictions, young children need to have the ability to say “no” to momentary impulses and passions. Left to their own devices, how many kids will choose to eat a healthy meal over
devouring
Suggestion
is devouring
 dessert for dinner? Do they really have the privilege to indulge in their pastime video games? How many do you know who would voluntarily say, “It’s time for me to go to sleep”? The answer is most likely to be negative. Personally, kids do enjoy a certain degree of
freedom
, but not sufficient.
Freedom
 is deemed as
fundamental right
Suggestion
a fundamental right
the fundamental right
 to all kids and they deserve it. The
freedom
 they have could be discerned from many aspects, from frequently plugging themselves
to
Suggestion
in
 the digital world
such
 as considerably, and flexibly long screen time to engaging in outdoor activities like football and excursion. As long as they could finish their daily assignments, they would have a plethora of time to place themselves to the indoor charm or the outside excitements. Those youngsters indeed have some liberty in allocating their private amusements. To put some restraint in terms of
freedom
 on the young is prevalent. No matter what kinds of family backgrounds and social status these kids are in, their
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
 have to be disciplined by different authorities
such
 as their parents and schoolteachers. The competition and academic requirements have filled up the “free time” they should have possessed. These preoccupied tasks will put them into a more disadvantaged situation, ergo, greatly limiting the
freedom
 of children. To recapitulate, the
freedom
 to children is necessary but far from enough.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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