Some people think success in life comes from hard work and determination, but others think there are more important factors like money and appearance. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The question of what is the key to
success
has haunted people for years. It is true that fortune and attractive
appearance
are the conducive factors of
success
, but I believe determination and
endeavor
a purposeful or industrious undertaking (especially one that requires effort or boldness)
endeavour
play more significant roles in achieving
success
. There are, indeed, some reasons why affluent family and good looking are cited as the indispensable contributors to
success
. The major reason is that money enables people to better meet the requirement for their goals, which means people can find easy access to some resources which are helpful for their future career or life,
such
as better education opportunities.
This
can be the cornerstone for
success
.
In addition
, the attractive
appearance
is undeniably considered as
underlying requirement
Suggestion
an underlying requirement
for some professions, especially for those who works as actors and models.
This
helps them gain better job opportunities in their domain, which
also
lead to the possibility for
success
.
However
, it seems to me that persistence and diligence are comparatively decisive to the achievement. Most significantly, those determined people are more likely to overcome obstacles placed in their path, since they are fueled by passion for finishing what they started and cannot stand the idea of leaving something half-finished.
Also people
Accept comma addition
Also, people
can excel in
specific field
Suggestion
a specific field
specific fields
with the quality of diligence, for the fact that they spend more time exposing themselves in that field, no matter what
this
is. Compared with
appearance
, these two qualities fit in more areas, not restricted in
special position
Suggestion
a special position
special positions
, like actors and models. As for money, not everyone can better utilize the resources to provide them better opportunities because some may indulge in a life of pleasure and comfort without thinking about thriving for
success
.
Although
people may have a chance to approach
success
with the help of good fortune and
appearance
, hard work and determination are more reliable in paving way for
success
.
Submitted by lsymissi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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