The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego County and California and the rest of the world

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego County and California and the rest of the world
The pictures illustrate the
water
used for residential, industry and
agriculture
in two main kinds of Cities including
San
Diego
County
and
California
and worldwide. It is noticeable that more
water
is consumed by homes than by industry and
agriculture
in both cities.
By contrast
,
agriculture
accounts for the vast majority of
water
Add an article
the water
show examples
used in the rest of the world. It can be seen from the graph that in
San
Diego
County
and
California
State, residential
water
consumption
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
up three-fifths and nearly two-fifths respectively
while
a mere 8% of the
water
used globally goes
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
home. The opposite pattern can be seen when we look at
water
consumption for
agriculture
. The largest proportion of
agriculture
is worldwide, at 69%, but only 17% and 28% of
water
usage in
San
Diego
County
and
California
in turn.
Such
dramatic differences are not seen when we compare the figure for industrial
water
use. The figure
simultaneously
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is simultaneously
show examples
at over a fifth in
San
Diego
County
and Worldwide.
In contrast
, the figure for
California
is substantially higher at 33%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, agriculture, san, diego, county, california with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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