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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show ưhat UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008

The charts below show ưhat UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008
#show #ưhat #uk #graduate #students #work #college
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The bar charts give information about
graduates
Use synonyms
 and postgraduates in Britain who did not
work
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 full-time in terms of what they did after finishing university in the year 2008. A brief analysis of the charts reveals that most UK
graduates
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 were most likely to continue their
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 after leaving college. Meanwhile, part-time
work
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 and
further
Linking Words
study
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 were the two most common choices for postgraduate
students
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 who did not have
full-time
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a full-time
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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. Regarding
graduates
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 in the UK,
Linking Words
further
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the further
a further
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study
Use synonyms
 had by far the highest number of
students
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, which was 29665.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the figure for
graduates
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 who chose to be volunteers was the lowest, at only 3500
students
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.
While
Linking Words
 nearly 18000
graduates
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 applied for part-time
work
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, the statistic for
students
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 who were unemployed tended to be slightly lower at over 16000, ranking
third
Linking Words
 on the chart. In the same year,
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
 was
also
Linking Words
 the most popular option for British postgraduates with around 2700
students
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 choosing to continue their
study
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 paths,
whereas
Linking Words
 the number of those who worked part-time was in
second
Linking Words
 place with 2535
students
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. In comparison with approximately 1600 postgraduates who had to face unemployment, only 345 decided to do voluntary
work
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, work, study, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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