Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on people. D o you agree or disagree?

Nowadays young children
use
computers so frequently that even
use
them more than 12 hours every day.
although
Suggestion
Although
some people believe that
phenomenon
Suggestion
the phenomenon
has no harmful effects on young children while some thinkers
dont
do not
don't
support.
To begin
with, Technology offers us a plethora of merits.The most important one among them is easy
availablity
the quality of being at hand when needed
availability
of
anykind
Suggestion
any kind
of
questions
Accept comma addition
questions, however
however
another
points
Suggestion
point
is worth considering computers provide children's multifarious methods to help them efficiently and improve their knowledge.
in
Suggestion
In
addition, children's who spend quality
time
om
internet
are exposed to
huge amount
Suggestion
a huge amount
huge amounts
of information that can improve their grade and complete
reaschers
moreover
without
help
Suggestion
the help
of teachers they are motivated to
use
the
internet
to gain information
,
Accept space
,
as the result they retain more that if they were
thought
Suggestion
thinking
. On
flip side
Suggestion
the flip side
,
Accept space
,
the
negetive
characterized by or displaying negation or denial or opposition or resistance; having no positive features
negative
negatives
aspects of computers cannot be overlooked the major causative factor of
this
circumstance to health issues likes
obesity which
Accept comma addition
obesity, which
can develop when pupils spent too much
time
and became
addictive
Suggestion
addicted
to the computer and decrease the outdoor activities.The most damaging aspects of spending too much
time
online, is the
use
of pornography materials that can devalue
value
Suggestion
the value
of
parents
Accept comma addition
parents, thus
thus
this
website are everywhere in their online even
thier
of them or themselves
their
children is on an educational site they can pop up and trying to close the site won't work.Due to the
internet
can be considered as unsafe children. To conclude, parents need to have rules as to which site their children visit and
amount
Suggestion
the amount
of
time
they spend online on the
othehand
using
internet
daily basis have both pros and cons.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Ergonomics
  • Cognitive overload
  • Digital literacy
  • Cybersecurity
  • Innovative solutions
  • Remote work
  • Digital divide
  • Technological dependence
  • Moderation
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