IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The growth of the fast
food
Use synonyms
 industry has, without doubt, impacted on the eating habits and the health of many societies around the world. Diabetes, high cholesterol, heart and respiratory problems are all on the rise due to
fatty
Suggestion
fat
 and sugar-rich
food
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the question is whether
higher
Suggestion
the higher tax
tax
Use synonyms
 would improve
this
Linking Words
 situation or not. From an economic point of view, higher
tax
Use synonyms
 might seem sensible. In countries
such
Linking Words
 as the USA, Australia and Britain, the
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 system spends a large part of its budget on people with diet-related health problems. It could be argued that these people have caused their own illnesses because of their choice of
food
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 case, why should they expect the state to pay for their treatment? The
tax
Use synonyms
 could help fund the
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 system.
However
Linking Words
, we
also
Linking Words
 need to consider which
socio-economic
involving social as well as economic factors
socioeconomic
 group consumes fast
food
Use synonyms
 as the main part of their diet. Statistics indicate that lower income groups eat more of
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
 than wealthier people. One possible reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that fast
food
Use synonyms
 is far cheaper than fresh produce.
This
Linking Words
 is because many governments offer large subsidies to farmers who provide products for the fast
food
Use synonyms
 industry,
such
Linking Words
 as corn, wheat and beef. Fruit and vegetables,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, are not subsidised. Research suggests that many families simply cannot afford to buy healthy
food
Use synonyms
 or pay higher taxes on fast
food
Use synonyms
. For them, fast
food
Use synonyms
 is not a choice but a necessity. In conclusion, imposing a higher
tax
Use synonyms
 on fast
food
Use synonyms
 does not seem to be the answer. If the government chose to do
this
Linking Words
, it would only lead to greater poverty and families facing
further
Linking Words
 hardship.
Submitted by aziz.abdumurodov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
What to do next:
Look at other essays: