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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

#parents #pressure #children #reason #development
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At the present time, children fell under the pressure in order to succeed on account of their parents. I believe that it has more negative side compared to the positive one. Pursuant to some reasons, elders put too much tension on their children that they want their children to be successful. The reason why parents behave like
this
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 is that they are worried about their future life and career too.
However
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, it has so many disadvantages that impact to them. One of the adverse effects of it is influencing to children psychologically that falling under the pressure makes them to have a stress. As parents have great expectations for their kids, it causes children to have a responsibility for it, but sometimes it may be beyond from their competences. So, at
this
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 time they become distressing and heartbreaking because of incapability.
Moreover
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, choosing the best field of elders for their kids is not reasonable. It may be the cause of doing it by parents is giving them more convenient life, especially they mostly concern about their future incomes or their living. Whereas, it is against of children’s rights that they cannot choose their field themselves,
in addition
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 the field that parents choose may not be suitable for kids’ capability. It is better to give them a permission to choose their own occupation, since they know in which range they are good at. In short, as it is mentioned above, according to some logical reasons, it is not the best choice to put much pressure on children because of their future life. The best way is to let them be free on their choices.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
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