IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their home because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #time #home #workplace
It is clear that spending
time
 is maybe the most important issue in people’s lives because of the fact that our
time
 in
this
 world is limited. In
this
 context, many people are being more workaholics and prefer to spend more
time
 in their offices rather than at their home.
This
 issue has some advantages and disadvantages and in the following paragraphs, I will try to discuss these pros and cons. As it is clear from above, there are many positive results of being workaholics.
First
 of all, people can give more
time
 in their office, which will benefit them in their career because they are an expert of their job.
For example
; when workaholic people spend
time
 in office, they can learn and apply which shall be beneficial in shaping their career.
Thus
, they can boost their business skills and build their knowledge and experience.
Moreover
, they can get promoted at work.
Hence they
Accept comma addition
Hence, they
 can earn more money. What I mean is that they can create greater financial stability and acquire financial balance.
On the other hand
;
besides
 the advantages, there are
also
 some drawbacks for workaholic people.
Firstly
, the most negative impact is experienced/confronted in their relationships with their family members or their friends because they spend too much
time
 on their office so they do not have the opportunity to socialize. By
this
 means, they have limited free
time
 and so they watch their friend having fun without them. The other disadvantage is that the stress they faced in their job. They have a heavier workload in their job so they have to sleep less.
Consequently
, they think too much about their workload and they feel stressed. All in all, in the light of the aforementioned points, it can be effortlessly concluded that there are several positive and negative results of being workaholics for people.
Submitted by elifafsaar99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: