These days many people will stay home to watch a live performance.do you agree or disagree with this statement
Nowadays, most folks spend their leisure time at the flat watching live shows
such
as sports matches and a concert.Because They can access all programmes
on the channel and computer screens.I strongly agree with this
statement.This
essay will discuss agreement in detail,along with
a relevant conclusion.
On the one hand, TV sets and computers have a crucial role in everyone's life.Because these are providing various programmes
through a screen.For example
,all sports programmes
are conducted internationally,so society cannot travel far distances to watch programmes
.so they spend at the house watching sports shows.Furthermore
,most individuals addicted
to alcohol and drugs and lose their future.If they stay in the apartment can reduce their bad habits .So Add a missing verb
are addicted
this
TV entertainment helps them to recover to normal life.
On the other hand
,in the modern era, the public is are
involved in social media activities.The computer provides access to Facebook and WhatsApp ,and the population concentrate on chatting with friends.Unnecessary verb
apply
Moreover
,most youngsters spend hours with their friends at multiplexes and shopping complexes, recently it has been changed and the crowd are curiously waiting for their favourite shows.For instance
, previously we could not see any boys in the room, especially in the evening moment.Now it has been changed ,the men are physically available at home to watch cricket.
In conclusion,in this
era, families like to spend their valuable day at home,and they are interested in some videos Besides
, people can decrease their expenses by avoiding roaming with friends.Through the programmes
,they can reduce their stress. Television and computers have more facilities for entertainment.So I strongly agree with this
statementSubmitted by saniyasunny1848 on
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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction. Consider clearly stating whether you agree or disagree with the statement in one focused sentence.
task achievement
Some points in the paragraphs could use further development. For instance, more specific examples or data would support your arguments better.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between ideas within your paragraphs. This will help your essay flow better and improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure with a logical progression of ideas, making it fairly easy to follow.
task achievement
You clearly state your stance on the topic and support it with relevant points. This fulfills the task response criteria well.
coherence cohesion
You provide a valid conclusion that sums up your main points effectively, reinforcing your viewpoint.