2020-01-11: Task 2 Many students take part-time jobs while studying in the universities. Is this a bad or good idea?

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Education is an integral part of our society.
Therefore
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, numerous individuals dedicate an ample amount of their time towards education.
Moreover
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, certain students consider working part-time
while
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studying in institutions.
Hence
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, it certainly is a benefit to the students. In
this
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essay, we shall discuss
this
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topic
further
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. Everything has a price, and the cost of education is extremely expensive these days, so most people cannot afford it.
However
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, many individuals take loans in order to pay their tuition fees.
Moreover
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, managing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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daily expenses
such
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as rent, transportation and food require extra money and
thus
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many students prefer to work part-time to handle these payments.
Furthermore
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, by working it incorporates responsibility
as well as
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punctuality in their schedules.
For example
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, they learn about the basic necessities that are to be done like paying rent and bills on time, buying sufficient food items
as well as
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monitoring monthly expenses.
Additionally
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, it
instills
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instils
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the ideology of hard work, dedication
as well as
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the skills to adapt to survive.
On the contrary
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, sometimes a person would get distracted or deviate to an alternative path.
For instance
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, an individual might be lured to the accessibility of the job and
thus
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giving
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give
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less attention to studies.
In addition
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to
this
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, the salaries are not sufficient
enough
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apply
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, and
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also
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apply
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the energy and time taken could be exhausting and tedious
thus
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render
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rendering
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their concentration. Alternatively, it all can be managed through proper planning. In conclusion, good things come through patience and perseverance,
therefore
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, working alongside studies is a wise decision. After a thorough analysis of the subject,
it is clear that
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there are a few drawbacks to
this
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, but if an individual has the skills required to balance work and study, there would be no harm in acquiring a part-time job.
Submitted by tasbeauty.nature on

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task response
Ensure that your response addresses the prompt directly and thoroughly. Include a clear thesis statement and provide more in-depth analysis of the benefits and drawbacks of working part-time while studying.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively introduce and summarize the essay. However, work on organizing the body paragraphs in a more coherent manner to enhance the overall structure of the essay.
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