2020-01-11: Task 2 Many students take part-time jobs while studying in the universities. Is this a bad or good idea?

Education is an integral part of our society.
Therefore
, numerous individuals dedicate an ample amount of their time towards education.
Moreover
, certain students consider working part-time
while
studying in institutions.
Hence
, it certainly is a benefit to the students. In
this
essay, we shall discuss
this
topic
further
. Everything has a price, and the cost of education is extremely expensive these days, so most people cannot afford it.
However
, many individuals take loans in order to pay their tuition fees.
Moreover
, managing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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daily expenses
such
as rent, transportation and food require extra money and
thus
many students prefer to work part-time to handle these payments.
Furthermore
, by working it incorporates responsibility
as well as
punctuality in their schedules.
For example
, they learn about the basic necessities that are to be done like paying rent and bills on time, buying sufficient food items
as well as
monitoring monthly expenses.
Additionally
, it
instills
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instils
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the ideology of hard work, dedication
as well as
the skills to adapt to survive.
On the contrary
, sometimes a person would get distracted or deviate to an alternative path.
For instance
, an individual might be lured to the accessibility of the job and
thus
giving
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give
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less attention to studies.
In addition
to
this
, the salaries are not sufficient
enough
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apply
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, and
also
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apply
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the energy and time taken could be exhausting and tedious
thus
render
Wrong verb form
rendering
show examples
their concentration. Alternatively, it all can be managed through proper planning. In conclusion, good things come through patience and perseverance,
therefore
, working alongside studies is a wise decision. After a thorough analysis of the subject,
it is clear that
there are a few drawbacks to
this
, but if an individual has the skills required to balance work and study, there would be no harm in acquiring a part-time job.
Submitted by tasbeauty.nature on

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task response
Ensure that your response addresses the prompt directly and thoroughly. Include a clear thesis statement and provide more in-depth analysis of the benefits and drawbacks of working part-time while studying.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively introduce and summarize the essay. However, work on organizing the body paragraphs in a more coherent manner to enhance the overall structure of the essay.

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