IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? How can people work towards achieving an ideal society?

#history #people #society #element #world #work
Every human has certain dreams and thoughts, of how they are going to live or what their lives will be like. The most important factor as per me is, the
place
 where
one
 stays. It's crucial as,
one
 can go back and relax. People near by us have a great influence on
one
 an another. Where we grow and what kind of activity we were surrounded by plays the most important aspect.
However
, we all wish for certain type of
place
, but we all are confused, What is the perfect city to live in. So, I shall be discussing and highlighting the key feature and how can we all get the same in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, having a peaceful environment for ourselves and for our family is something we all crave for since the beginning of the mankind. But no
one
 knew what is the dream
place
? Where else
one
 is just running for it. Some by making money or having lavish lifestyle and assuming that
this
 is the
place
 they want for everyone and their family to live. But
that is
 not the ideal society where everything is seen by many and no emotions. As per me the concept of having a perfect
place
/ society to live is which everyone loves and respect each other. Rather,
then
 pulling people down. They should focus on spreading harmony. It is not a rocket science that, money won't
last
 long. It is not something which will help us to grow and become a good person.
It
Suggestion
Its
 the love and respect for each other is going to help human to actually be a human. So to conclude, I think
everyoneone
Suggestion
everyone one
 should start working on developing a
place
 where they can come back with no thoughts of winning or loosing. Rather, they should feel the freshness of coming to a
place
 where they can say they are happy to be. For achieving
this
 everyone should leave behind their competitive behaviour and work together.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • equality
  • inclusivity
  • socioeconomic status
  • empowers
  • critical thinking
  • innovative solutions
  • legal system
  • justice
  • environmental sustainability
  • sustainable living
  • civic engagement
  • governance
  • address the needs
  • effective
What to do next:
Look at other essays: