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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it Is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is widely argued that it is better to come to terms with dissatisfying situations,
whereas
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 others believe that the best decision in these cases is to make an attempt to solve existing problems and improve them. I am convinced that
people
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 should find various ways to improve a situation rather than simply accepting it. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both perspectives and elaborate on my view. On the one hand,
people
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 might give up when they are confronted with unpleasant circumstances. In these conditions, they decide simply to accept the situation.
It is clear that
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such
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 behaviour may occur when individuals are scared, feeling uncomfortable, or perhaps do not wish to take any responsibility.
Furthermore
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, it is obviously easier than brainstorming to find a solution.
For instance
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, some
people
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 might encounter a shortage of money. To deal with
this
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 and to handle the stress, they decide to come to terms with it. Individuals realise how difficult the process of searching for a solution might be.
In addition
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, they are usually under pressure and, eventually, just learn to live with it.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 are always faced with difficulties during their
life
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 path, and not all of them can be accepted. Some unpleasant conditions have a direct impact on the quality of
life
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,
such
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 as an unsatisfactory job, among others. It might be too demanding to deal with them, but overcoming these difficulties would help gain new experience, enhance the quality of
life
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, and develop critical thinking and social skills, which are crucial in a modern, rapidly changing world. In conclusion, accepting a situation may bring only short-term benefits.
However
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, I strongly believe that in the long term, finding solutions to challenging situations is more beneficial for achieving a better
life
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.

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task response
Add one more clear example for each side. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain a few points more fully, especially in the first body paragraph.
task response
Your opinion is clear, but you can make it stronger by comparing both sides more directly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end. Keep this structure.
coherence cohesion
Some linking is good, but a few ideas move too fast. Add short connecting sentences.
coherence cohesion
In the first body paragraph, some reasons are listed but not fully developed. Support each main point a bit more.
task response
You answer both views and give your own opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and relevant.
coherence cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has a main idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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