Television is dangerous because it destroys the family tie and community spirit. It is said by some that television absorbs so much of people’s time that they have no time to talk to each other. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

#television #tie #community #spirit #people’s #time

Nowadays, a huge number of people

watch

Suggestion

are watching

television

during their spare

time

. In some

houses TVs

Accept comma addition

houses, TVs

have became

Suggestion

have become

the

devises

an inclination or desire; used in the plural in the phrase 'left to your own devices'

devices

that attract everyone’s attention and are rarely switched off.

Although

it is incorrect to dispute the advantages of

television

, I myself do agree with people who say that it has more disadvantages.

First

of all, people really spend much less

time

for communication. Some families rest, eat, sleep with working TV’s and it has become a norm for a lot of people. I have witnessed the similar situation when I have visited my relatives. After a difficult working day they didn’t speak to each other,

moreover

, they wordless

stared

Suggestion

stare

into the screen during their dinner.

This

is really a dangerous situation as these people live in the same building and can be considered as family,

however they

Accept comma addition

however, they

don’t know each other anymore, and even worst, they don’t spend

time

Suggestion

with

their kids.

Secondly

television

has become an instrument which has a tremendous influence on a huge mass of people. Governments, politicians, trade marks successfully use the opportunity to attract our attention, to give us some information, which often is very controversial, advertise different products, etc. In

conclusion I

Accept comma addition

conclusion, I

would like to

emphasis

Suggestion

emphasize

that we need to reduce the

time

we spend on watching

television

Instead

of that, it’s much

beneficial

Suggestion

more beneficial

to become closer to our kids and other family members, to find some new hobbies, read books, catch up with friends and watch films online via internet.

Submitted by gob.lviv on Fri Apr 03 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

247 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Television is dangerous because it destroys the family tie and community spirit. It is said by some that television absorbs so much of people’s time that they have no time to talk to each other. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work fro home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth . However , some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues .