The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the man-made method of treating a large number of materials of
aluminum
Change the spelling
aluminium
show examples
that have already been used so that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can recycle
used
Correct word choice
and used
show examples
again.
Overall
, there are seven stages in the process,
Correct pronoun usage
which begins
show examples
begins
Correct subject-verb agreement
begin
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with collecting
aluminum
Change the spelling
aluminium
show examples
metal in centres, and
ends
Correct subject-verb agreement
end
show examples
with the drink
cans
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
sold in
drinks
Correct article usage
the drinks
show examples
machine. In the first steps, many empty
cans
are gathered in big shopping centres and they are arranged in other groups,
then
the delivery men bring
aluminum
Change the spelling
aluminium
show examples
cans
to a recycling centre.
Subsequently
, these
cans
are boiled
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high temperature to melt; after
that
Add a comma
,that
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they become new
aluminum
Change the spelling
aluminium
show examples
bricks. In the
next
step,
aluminum
Change the spelling
aluminium
show examples
fragments are flattened and rolled to thickness rely on
purpose
Correct article usage
the purpose
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for
using
Replace the word
use
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;
Following
this
, the
aluminum
Change the spelling
aluminium
show examples
cans
now become new packaging namely drink containers.
Finally
, drink
cans
goods are put into the vending machine to buy
consumers
Change preposition
by consumers
show examples
.
Submitted by nguyennhancrazy on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words aluminum, cans with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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