The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.) Describe the information presented below, comparing results for men and women in the categories shown. Suggest reasons for what you see.
#hours #work #week #people #categories #activities #childcare #home #housework #information #results #men #women
The bar graph presents information on the amount of weekly unpaid working
hours
experienced in
married people by gender and by the Change preposition
by
number
of children
they have. Add a comma
,children
Overall
, the number
of weekly unpaid work
hours
increased significantly in married women
when the number
of children
they have increased, while
that in married men slightly decreased when the number
of children
they have increased.
Based on the information provided in the bar chart, married women
had higher
Add an article
a higher
number
of unpaid work
hours
compared to that of
Change preposition
apply
married
Add an article
a married
the married
man
. The Fix the agreement mistake
men
number
of unpaid work
hours
raised drastically by 20 to slightly over 50 when women
with 1-2 children
, while
the number
of hours
grew approximately by 10 to 60 when they have at least three children
. In addition
, women
had the highest number
of unpaid work
hours
when they have more than three children
, in
which doubled to 60 compared to those without Change preposition
apply
children
.
In contrast
to the increasing number
of unpaid work
hours
in married
Add an article
the married
female
when they have Fix the agreement mistake
females
higher
Add an article
a higher
number
of children
, that in married men decreased negligibly and remained slightly under 20 hours
per week. The difference between the number
of unpaid work
hours
between the two genders increased significantly when the number
of children
increase. In addition
, the difference reached the
peak when they have more than three Correct article usage
a
children
.
In summary, married women
spent more effort on housework than married men.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, number, children, work, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 12 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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