people are living longer. some people that it causes big problems. others, however, think the ageing population has many advantages for business, government and for society in general. discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #population #business #government #society

In the present generation many people think longer

life

will

leads

Suggestion

lead

to major issues. Whereas, some others felt that

old

Suggestion

older

people can generate more

money

by using their experience. By

this

essay I will discuss on age longevity with both advantages and disadvantages with my opinion. On one side many people like to live a

longer

Suggestion

long

life

in addition

to stay with family, pursuit more happiness and

also

to make

money

. As the

life

goes longer their knowledge will be doubled and it will helpful to share their views and ideas to

younger generation

Suggestion

the younger generation

a younger generation

and they are able to contribute to some of the sectors like teaching, management, political parties and research centres with their extensive experience.

Moreover

, in modern

times many

Accept comma addition

times, many

people are busy with the work

life

, where their grandparents will be helpful in taking care of children and giving great relief to the parents. On the other side some people

thinks

Suggestion

think

that ageing will bring health issues and psychological disorders which leads to huge

money

spending on medicines and hospitals, ultimately lead to mental tensions and sorrow to family members.

Also because

Accept comma addition

Also, because

of more aged

people

Suggestion

peoples'

government have to allocate more

money

for pensions and it will be burden on each individual for paying more taxes to government. So, as to believers of

this

aspect are right in somehow. In my opinion, people living older is good for society as per the development criteria by means of their long-

life

experiences,

furthermore

to the communities and families having grandparents would give their guidance to the younger generation even though they are suffering with health issues.

Lastly

, we have to respect and take care of

the old

Suggestion

older

people for their service and path to the world.

Sat Apr 04 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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people are living longer. some people that it causes big problems. others, however, think the ageing population has many advantages for business, government and for society in general. discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer , rather than playing sports or doing exercises classes. What are the reason for this ? Is this a positive or a negative development ?

Some countries are struggling with an increase in crime rates. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Government should spend money on railways more than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In order for a child to develop his/her family life, mothers and fathers should take a course on parenting skills and child development each year. Do you agree or disagree ?