Some people suggest that bringing up children by thw whole family includimg uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. To what extend are you agree or disagree?

#people #children #thw #includimg #uncles #aunts #grandparents #parents

Some hold the opinion of raising children in

extended family

Suggestion

the extended family

has greater advantages rather than nuclear ones. I personally believe that indeed, it has many benefits like forming good behaviour in children and making them more friendly with

tradional

consisting of or derived from tradition

traditional

values

Accept space

To begin

with, bringing up children by their relatives

Accept space

especially grandparents

Accept space

play a significant role in the form of their social behaviour

Accept space

Undoubtedly, current generation

need

Suggestion

needs

more control to defend them from harmful effects of modern technologies

Accept space

But

Accept space

it can be impossible to do so in nuclear families in which both parents work and have no time make conversation with their children who are left unattended in the hands of modern devices

Accept space

If there are

granparents

a parent of your father or mother

grandparents

to supervise them in families with what they are doing

Accept space

who their friends are

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they will not enter in dead -end streets

Accept space

They

also

are taught more effectively to behave

approprietly

in an appropriate manner

appropriately

in society by their

closes which

Accept comma addition

closes, which

is different from other children who are grown up in nuclear families.

Secondly

, it seems that many today's

child

Suggestion

children

are deprived of cultural events due to given

lack

Suggestion

the lack

of attention and time by their

workholic

person with a compulsive need to work

workaholic

parents

Accept space

To improve

this

attitude

Accept space

definetely

without question and beyond doubt

definitely

Accept space

they need a whole family in which all family members have a responsibility for teaching the child in family about traditional values by making them inform about national heroes and historical buildings. Children well informed about their past have higher patriotism as well.

This

way is more important to pay more attention I think

Accept space

since

Accept space

mostly,

young generation

Suggestion

the young generation

have

Suggestion

has

highe r

advanced in complexity or elaboration

higher

chance to bring their countries

Accept space

which are maintaining

greatly

Suggestion

great

cultural sides, for popularity over the world

Accept space

To conclude

Accept space

It can be clear that bringing up children by all members in

family

Suggestion

the family

a family

is better when taking into consider of some merits in increased number of well being children in communities and the form of

good attitude

Suggestion

a good attitude

towards national sites of countries.

Submitted by hatamovashahzoda on Sat Apr 04 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

extended family
child-rearing
diverse experiences
harmonious family environment
sense of belonging
emotional support
wisdom and guidance
multicultural societies
heritage and traditions
conflicts and confusion

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Some people suggest that bringing up children by thw whole family includimg uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. To what extend are you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local person when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

. Some people believe that children should be involved in making their school\'s rules. Others say that only adults should make the school\'s rules. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

You have decided to leave your current job and look for a new one. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter explain why you want to leave your current job describe what kind of job you are looking for ask for some help or advice

It is important for travellers and business people to understand the cultures they come into contact with, however briefly, what are the main advantages of doing so? what do you think is the main disadvantage of not doing so?