The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

#proportion #population #three #countries

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The graph shows the increase in the ageing population in

Japan

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, Sweden and the USA. It indicates that the percentage of elderly

people

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in all three

countries

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

expected to increase to almost 25% of the respective populations by the year 2040. In 1940 the proportion of

people

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aged 65 or more stood at only 5% in

Japan

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, approximately 7% in Sweden and 9% in the US.

However

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

the figures for the Western

countries

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grew to about 15°o in around 199C, the figure for

Japan

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dipped to only 25% for much of

this

Linking Words

period, before rising to almost 5% again at the present time. In spite of some fluctuation in the expected percentages, the proportion of older

people

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will probably continue to increase m the

Linking Words

two decades in the three

countries

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. A more dramatic rise is predicted between 2030 and 2040 in

Japan

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, by which time it is thought that the proportion of elderly

people

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will be similar in the three

countries

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Submitted by shyamamw146 on Sun Apr 05 2020

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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, people, countries with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

164 words

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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other age groups. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to solve it?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

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Many believe that social media platforms are exerting considerable adverse effects on their users in both individual and social aspects. Due to many reasons, I completely agree with this statement.

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?