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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
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The line graph depicts the percentage of older residents who are part of the
USA
Use synonyms
,
SWEDEN
Use synonyms
 and
JAPAN
Use synonyms
 countries from 1940 to 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly vivid from the graph that the United States of America and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 trends
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 gone through fluctuation as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
.
Japan
Use synonyms
 whose population was less in the past years compared to the other countries, but it will beat them in the future, keeping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sweden
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Linking Words
second
Add an article
the second
show examples
 rank and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
third
Linking Words
. In 1940, only 9% community of senior
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 in America and every two decades the public of elderly people was increasing till 1980 which reached up to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less than a fifth of the total population, but after 1980 it was going down by one
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 till 1990 and from 1990 it is constant till 2020 and after 2020 there will be slightly less than a quarter elder citizens in the
USA
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.
Likewise
Linking Words
USA
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Sweden
Correct word choice
and Sweden
show examples
 has
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 trend till the year 1980 but from the year 1990,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
Sweden
Change noun form
Sweden's
show examples
 older folks
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased till 2010
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 20
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
, but after 2020 it is going down,
although
Linking Words
Sweden
Use synonyms
 will have a quarterly number of citizens whose age is 65 or above. Unlike
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and
USA
Use synonyms
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 had only five
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
 of oldies in 1940, even after 1940 its elderly people went down in 1960 by 1%, but from 1960 to 1990 the
elder's
Change noun form
elder
show examples
 community remained stable till 1990, but after the year 1990
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japans senior age inhabitants are rising every cycle and in 2040,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 will have more than 25 proportion of senior citizens compared to the
USA
Use synonyms
 and
SWEDEN
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, sweden, japan with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.
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