IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Vista Cafe, by season. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average daily sales of selected food items at the Vista Cafe, by season. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph shows how many
servings
Use synonyms
 of certain
food
Use synonyms
 items are sold on average every day in two different seasons at the Vista Cafe. The average
number
Use synonyms
 of
sales
Use synonyms
 of each
item
Use synonyms
 changed with the season. Certain
food
Use synonyms
 items had much higher
sales
Use synonyms
 than others in the winter. Hot
coffee
Use synonyms
 had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
sales
Use synonyms
, with an average of 75
servings
Use synonyms
 sold daily.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the
item
Use synonyms
 with the second highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
sales
Use synonyms
 was soup, with an average of 50
servings
Use synonyms
 sold daily. Salad and ice cream had average daily
sales
Use synonyms
 of 25
servings
Use synonyms
 each, and iced
coffee
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
sales
Use synonyms
, with close to zero
servings
Use synonyms
 sold daily. The
sales
Use synonyms
 numbers for each
food
Use synonyms
item
Use synonyms
 were different in the summer from what they were in the winter. Iced
coffee
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 rose significantly, to an average of 40
servings
Use synonyms
 sold daily. The
item
Use synonyms
 that had the second highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
sales
Use synonyms
 was ice cream, with an average of 35
servings
Use synonyms
 sold daily. Hot
coffee
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 fell to just 30
servings
Use synonyms
 daily. Soup and salad had the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
sales
Use synonyms
, with 25
servings
Use synonyms
 sold daily on average. In general, the average daily
sales
Use synonyms
 of each
food
Use synonyms
item
Use synonyms
 changed when the season changed. Certain items were more popular in the winter, but certain others were more popular in the summer.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words servings, food, number, sales, item, coffee with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: