IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#maps #show #changes #place #queen #mary #construction #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The maps show
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of Queen Mary Hospital over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three different times 1960, 1980 and 2000-years.
Overall
, in 1960-year on the east side of the
of the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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road
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were
hospital
Correct article usage
a hospital
show examples
 and car park,
shopping
Correct article usage
a shopping
show examples
centre
together with
 farmland
were
Change the verb form
was
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 situated on the west side of the main road.
Likewise
 from 1980-year locations of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 places were changed
as well as
 detached, added.
As a result
,
shopping
Add an article
the shopping
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centre
 has
removed
Add a missing verb
been removed
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along
Correct your spelling
alone
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 with
instead
 of
this
 it has opened Cancer
Centre
.
Nonetheless
Add a comma
,Nonetheless
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 farmland has detached and constructed the Nursing School.
Consequently
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000-year Cancer
Centre
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
extended to
east
Add an article
the east
show examples
 side.
As a consequence
, Nursing School was smaller than pharmacy and clinic. In spite of them, pharmacy, hospital and car park have kept their positions.
Submitted by fozilova1105 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words centre with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructural evolution
  • healthcare facilities
  • technological advancements
  • capacity expansion
  • modernization efforts
  • historical layout
  • landscape adaptation
  • access routes
  • renovation and improvement
  • initial structure
  • environmental considerations
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