IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Modern technology is now very common in most work places How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

#technology #work #places
Nowadays, a large part of
work
Suggestion
the work
 we do involves using modern
technology
 in almost all
work places
a place where work is done
workplaces
. I reckon that
although
 numerous alterations have been noticed in working conditions, it is disadvantageous for employee’s health and may lead to redundancy. Modern
technology
 brings myriad improvements in
work
 places.
Firstly
, workers
do not spend
Suggestion
does not spend
 much of their time and strength in
manufacturing process
Suggestion
the manufacturing process
. Since
instead
 of them, almost all tasks are done by particular type of machines.
Additionally
, because of the advances of the
technology
, most employees choose remote working. It enables them to hang out with their family and to deal with different jobs simultaneously or they do not have to waste their money and time on the way to
work
.
On the other hand
,
technology
 has influenced on hand
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 negatively. Most employers prefer to purchase contemporary electronics rather than spend their finance hiring workers. It causes high level of unemployment among individuals.
Moreover
, almost on a daily basis, we hear about the accidents occurring with workers because of using
technology
 carelessly or everybody is aware that sitting in front of electronics for a long time affects sight, nerve system or blood circulation of employees. In conclusion, I consider that
although
technology
 is important for the betterments of working condition, utilizing them superfluously has negative influence on people’s life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: