The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in 2010

The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in 2010
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in 2010
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The given pie charts compare and contrast the household expenses made by
Japanese
Replace the word
Japan
show examples
and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
in the year 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
there are great discrepancies between these two country people on what they spent on. As illustrated, most of the expenditures in Japan
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
made on goods and other services,
contain
Wrong verb form
containing
show examples
29% of the total expenditures compared to
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, which only spends 26%. Food came as
Linking Words
second
Add an article
the second
show examples
priority
Use synonyms
for both countries with 24% and 27% of the total household costs respectively. Housing in Japan is placed as the
third
Linking Words
priority
Use synonyms
with an average of 21% expenditure
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, which places
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
housing
their
Change preposition
as their
show examples
major expenditure. Moving on, money spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
transportation fall as the fourth
priority
Use synonyms
with an average of 20% in Japan and 10% in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, healthcare was observed to be the least
priority
Use synonyms
for both countries
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
6% and 3% of the total expenditures.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, priority with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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